he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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