Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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