I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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