told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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