Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
