saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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