I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
