i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
