youre lurking in front of me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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