CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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