***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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