Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
