barbara walters just said penis...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
