I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
