That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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