i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
