her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
