I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
