So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
