dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
