Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
