Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
