The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
