And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
