Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
