Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize