So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
