i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
