I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Boobs are out for the taking
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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