I must be too annoying 4 u.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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