thus making me awesome and them whores
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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