I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
