u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize