Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
