Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
