It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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