I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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