it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How does one acquire holy water?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
