ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
