No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
