What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
