sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
