New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
