sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
