then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
