I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
