I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You ruined the universe
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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