He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
