Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
handjob tips. give me some.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
