dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
