Duck Duck Cougar?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
