just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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