nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
