you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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