What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
