i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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