you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
two words: eviction party
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
