I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
