Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
