Kareoke will never be a sober sport
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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