Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize