umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
