i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
