Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
