I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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