did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
