dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
