YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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