i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
