why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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