We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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