Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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